Real Stories: I Love The Smell of _______

So it was Ted, Roel, Damon, and JD driving along the mean streets of Diamond Bar. What the hell is there to do in Diamond Bar? There were no people out. EVER. But anyways, back to the story....As the four of them were cruising around, Ted kept letting them rip in the car. And then Roel would joke that it was starting to smell like bleach in the car.

Later on that day, Ted let it rip again in the car and JD says "Mmmm, it smells like bleach. My favorite scent!" And everyone proceeds to laugh uncontrollably. Then after about 3 seconds, Ted had an epiphany. So the rationale goes like this: Ted farted and it smells like bleach because sperm smells like bleach therefore insinuating that Ted was bufu'd and creampie'd in the bootyhole. So when Ted let one rip and JD said it smelled like his favorite scent, he was basically implying to the entire carload that he loves the smell of sperm. Wow! Double edged sword.....or should I say, double headed dild. Homo. Hahahahaha.

Awkward Moment of the Day: Drive Thru Edition

So it was Ted, Damon, Roel, and JD at the In N Out in Pomona. They ordered their food and posted a seat out back by where the drive thru begins. When they finished their food, they saw a couple guys standing by the drive thru telecom. Keep in mind that this is a drive thru. These guys were wearing khaki pants along with blue blazers. They looked like guys from a prep school. Smart guys.

Well, they stood in front of the drive thru telecom for a good 10 minutes. They scanned the menu and it looked like they were ready to order. And they kept waiting by the drive thru telcom. They even went to the second drive thru telecom and probably waited for another 3 minutes. This is where an employee spotted them and waved them to come to the front where people who don't have cars order their food.

You either gotta be high as shiite or dumber than rocks to pull that move. Judging by their clothes, they were probably high as shiite.

Rebecca Linares

She reminds of this girl I was crushing on in high school. She was in all the Honors and Advanced Placement classes with me. She was even there with me in college. She was my ideal girl: smart, outgoing, quirky, tomboyish, not afraid to eat, well spoken, no makeup and looked sexy without even knowing it or trying.

Awkward Moment of The Day: Bathroom Edition (AGAIN)

So Ted was out this past Saturday at this joint that apparently used host gay nights on Saturdays. Ted never went there during gay nights. This was his 3rd time there ever. The first 2 experiences weren't all that great either. The first time someone pissed from the 2nd floor onto the first right where Ted and his friends were chillin'. The 2nd time, it was deader than a graveyard.

But anyways, back to the story. Ted went into the bathroom cuz he had quite a few drinks. All the urinals are taken except this one in the corner. So Ted quickly goes and occupies it. And as he's handling his business, Ted notices the guy in the urinal next to him glance over. Not once, not twice, but thrice. Immediately Ted is thinking "Gay nights! Damn the gay nights...."! So Ted decides to take extra long at the pisser to ensure that this guy leaves before him. So the guys finishes and Ted wait a cool 15-20 seconds before zipping up. But as Ted goes to wash his hands, the guy is there waiting for Ted and strikes up conversation.

"Are you a wrestler?"

Yes.

"I thought so. Who do you wrestle for?"

CZW.

"CZW?"

It's an independent circuit.

"You're Japanese, right?"

Yes.

"I thought so. You have the traditional hair and everything. But you're a little light so I was kinda sketchy. I'm half Chinese and Vietnamese..."

Ted spots someone he knows and immediately walks towards them:
"Whattup Dward!!!! Thanks for coming out."

"Oh you know it Ted. I got your message and we brought a bunch of people".

Ted turns to the random bathroom gawker guy and says "I'll catch ya later...."