Awkward Moment of the Day: Bathroom Edition

Have you ever been so hungry you could eat a horse? And then in a split second, you saw something utterly disgusting that took away your appetite? Well, Ted was in dire need to drop a hot deuce and he walked into a public bathroom and got the same feeling as losing your appetite but he lost the urge to drop a log. What can cause such a thing? Apparently the person who used the bathroom before Ted didn't have very good aim.....WITH THEIR ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

Awkward Moment of the Day: Parking Lot Edition

So Ted went out to lunch today later than he normally. Due to this, the spot he intended to hit was packed like an ass. So Ted was driving around the parking lot for a cool 5 minutes or so. And after that, he decided to just park half a mile away and walk to where he was going. On his trek to the food destination, Ted runs into some guy who looked like he was lost. He was pacing back and forth in the parking lot. And as Ted got closer he noticed the guy had something in his hand. This turned out to be the alarm for his car and the guy couldn't remember where he parked. Hahahahaha. So he paced a quarter of mile with Ted right behind him laughing so hard in his head. The guy even noticed Ted right behind him and tried to play it off by walking in the other direction and hiding his car keys. But Ted kept looking back every few steps to see if this guy finally found his car. Based on how he was dressed, he looked rich. He probably drove a Jaguar or something. Silly rich bastard.

Distinguished Schools

I actually went to this school for a few years.....

Awkward Moment of the Day: Driving Edition

Have you ever been driving and you glance to the side and make eye contact with the person driving in the lane next to you?

Have you ever been driving and you glance to the side and make eye contact with the person driving in the lane next to you and as your eyes connect, this person just happens to be picking their nose?

Have you ever been driving and you glance to the side and make eye contact with the person driving in the lane next to you and as your eyes connect, it happens to be you that's picking your nose?

What do you do? Do you try to play it off by pulling your finger out really quick, to pretend that you weren't doing what you were doing? Do you just keep digging while maintain eye contact with that person?

Subway Adventures

So it was Valentines Night and it was Ted, Barry, and Roel running a muck in the streets of Downtown. The night was kinda lame with all the lonely, somethings gotta be wrong with them to be single, drunken girls trying to get any man's attention. They didn't fall for any traps. But they did run into the vampire. The vampire has mad beef with Ted. I guess Ted called him out on his shenanigans and the vampire took offense maybe because Ted was right. So they got beef and this was the first encounter since the beef. Well, the vampire pretended like Ted wasn't even there and tried to act all jolly and gay. He did a good job, with the gay part.

But at the end of the night, they happened to pass by Subway and it was still open. So Roel, being the drunk that he is, decided it would be a good idea to order double the meat on his sandwich. As the chick is piling the meat on his sandwich, everyone can all see that the mound is pretty massive. How the hell can someone eat that? Hahahahaha. You've got to be used to opening your mouth real big on a nightly basis to manhandle that sandwich.

So it was Ted's turn to order. He hesitated for a second and then said "Uhhhh....lemme get the Oven Roasted Chicken Breast footlong on Italian Herbs and Cheese please!" faster than the Micro Machines man when he says "If it doesn't say Micro Machines, then it's not the real thing!". Everyone stopped and looked at Ted and they were all like "Whoa....whoa, that was fast!" And Ted responded with "What? This is my first time here..." Laughter ensues. Even the sandwich lady is laughing.