"Ted" Gasol

Awkward Moment of the Day

Here's the scenario:
I was in the "kitchen" heatin' up my food in the microwave when someone approaches me.

Me: (lookin' at my food in the microwave)
Stranger: (walks up, stands next to me and turns) You have your guitar?
Me: ...uhhhh yeah. It's upstairs.
Stranger: You gonna play?
Me: ...uhhhh maybe after I eat.
Stranger: I play too.
Me: Oh....ok....what kind of music do you play?
Stranger: Variety. All kinds. Wanna hear me play?
Me: .....nah, imma eat right now. Maybe later. How do you know I play?
Stranger: I heard you.
Me: ....(microwave finishes and I quickly grab my food and start to walk away)
Stranger: (stranger asks a question)
Me: (keep walking away with no response)

Quote of the Week

"Auntie has never questioned my gayness!"

Here's how the scenario went down:
So "Ted", "Barry", and "Roel" are in the living room watching the Boston-Detroit game just yuckin' it up and havin' a good time.. Barry says something ridiculous and then Roel responds by claiming Barry to be gay. All of a sudden Roel's Dad comes downstairs and asks "Who's gay?" Roel immediately proclaims Barry gay. So Roel's Dad tells Roel that he's not allowed to call Barry gay......only he's allowed to call Barry gay.

So Roel's Dad is telling a story about how Roel's Auntie "Mia" thinks that Barry is actually gay. A quote from Anutie Mia: "Roel, if you keep hanging around with the gays you will become gay too." So this is where the quote of the week comes in. Roel tries to reiterate that Auntie Mia doesn't think he's gay but thinks Barry is. So Roel announces that "Auntie has never questioned my gayness!".....

*awkward silence and then ensuing laughter*

We will not let it go away. EVER! That's what friends are for.


***************DISCLAIMER*****************
Names have been changed for privacy reasons. And no, they do not rhyme with the real persons name.

Joel's Rants and Raves: Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory

After watching the Spurs lose a very important game versus the Lakers last night, I have to say, "CONSPIRACY!" I know what you may be saying... Joel, you're a Spurs fan, take the loss like a man. To that I reply, true. Maybe I should just shut up about it BUT I wont cause there is just to much B.S. going around for me not to say something. So, now, I will give you a few facts, truths and evidence and let you figure out for yourself, if this is a conspiracy or not.

1. Derek Fisher Fouled Brent Barry.
Last night Fisher fouled Barry on a 3-point try. I saw it, you saw it and even Charles Barkley's dumbass saw it. That wouldve gave Barry 3 free throw shots with no time on the clock, in a game that was decided by 2 points. The reason it was not called: Joey Crawford. Referee Joey Crawford shouldn't have been ref'ing that game. He had a previous run in with Coach Poppovich in these playoffs. If you didn't know, he has it out for the Spurs and more specifically Tim Duncan. I'll let the evidence speak for itself.

Guess who the referee that was closest to the Fisher (non call) foul on Brent Barry. You guessed it....Joey Crawford who might I add was suspended for the rest of the season last year. Regardless, Crawford shouldnt have been ref'ing that game because he had previous run-ins with people in the game and that couldve altered his bias.
Also, with Referee Tim Donaghey being caught for getting paid to fix games and getting caught gambling and then saying that 60% of NBA refs were game fixing and gambling that makes me put Referees judgements into suspicion. The fact that the NBA is simply just trying to sweep this under the rug is disgusting. (almost disgusting as the NFL sweeping SPYGATE under the rug, but thats a whole other RANT and RAVE that i'll save for later)

2. The NBA doesn't want a small market team to win the championship again.
The NBA is all about money. Plain and simple. Why do you think everything that happens with the Knicks is BIG sports news? ... It's cause New York is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, markets in the United States. Even though the New York Knicks havent done anything worth a damn in the last 5-7 years, they're still big news all the time. The big market teams are teams like New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Miami, Chicago while the small market teams are teams like Minnesota, Seattle, Denver, and to a lesser extent San Antonio, detroit, New Orleans. In the last 10 years the champions are Spurs, Heat, Spurs, Pistons, Spurs, Lakers, Lakers, Lakers, Spurs. With small market teams taking the championship the last couple of years, ratings havent been so good for the NBA. The reason the NBA wants big market teams is cause there is BIG MONEY. With teams like the Celtics and the Lakers making extended runs in this playoffs its bringing bigger ratings. Bigger markets = bigger ratings = BIG MONEY for the NBA.

3. The NBA wants the "Superstars" in the finals.
This is obvious. That's why there is an All-Star game. So that all the "Superstars" can be put on showcase for the NBA to make money off of. Here's the thing...Tim Duncan is a ALL-Star but... hes not s SUPERSTAR.... there are few guys in that category, these are the guys who sell all the jerseys and have the huge shoe deals...guys like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade and to a lesser extent guys like Chris Paul, Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, Shaq. I don't blame the NBA for this cause as a basketball fan I like to see the SUPERSTARS play but not at the expense of great fundamental, defensive, teamwork and hardnosed teams. The NBA is no longer a team game. When a guy like Tim Duncan, who in my opinion is the best player in the game right now, isn't even considered in the conversation as a SUPERSTAR its ridiculous. Because he's not a show man who dribbles fancy, double pump reverse 360 slams the ball, or jukes guys out of theyre shoes, doesnt mean that hes not a SUPERSTAR. Tim Duncan plays the most fundamentally sound game nowadays. Who else goes off the backboard? or simply out powers and/or out finesses a defender down in the paint like Duncan? and still at the same time plays hard-nosed defense. Teams like the Spurs, Pistons, Suns, Hornets play with some of the best team work in the NBA. Yet, they are overshadowed by bigger market teams with bigger market players.

4. The NBA WANTS Los Angeles VS Boston
Do you remember Magic VS Bird? Of course you do it was the biggest matchup in the late 80's and early 90's. What teams did they play for? Of course you know that its the Lakers and Celtics, respectively. The NBA is trying to replicate that kind of rivalry again. NBA rivalries are huge. It just makes for interesting matchups and more fan intrigue. Why did everyone watch Kobe Vs Shaq's Heat those past years on Christmas? Cause it was a good rivalry... and intrigue and rivalries = good ratings for the NBA which you know by my last paragraph means more money for the NBA.

If that's not enough for you then here you go..... The Celtics werent even close to being a contender last year. Even though the Lakers made the playoffs last year their hopes for a title just werent realistic last year either. BUT after 2 hugely lopsided trades, these teams were turned into instant contenders. Let's analyze these two HUGE trades. The Lakers traded the biggest bust ever, Kwame Brown, marc gasol, Critten and 2 1st rounders for Pau Gasol and a 2nd rounder. Thats a small price to pay for an ALL-star in the prime of his career. Plus, with an all star added to thier roster they are almost assured to be in the playoffs for 2008 and 2010 when the Grizzlies will get those picks making them low end 1st round picks. So in my opinion they got him for chump change. The interesting part is that Jerry West is the GM for the Grizzlies. Yes, the same Jerry west on the NBA logo BUT the same jerry West who played his career and was former GM for the Lakers..... hmmmmmmmm.
On the other end the Celtics got Garnett a former MVP and a future Hall Of Famer from Minnesota for a handful of young nobodys.... the GM of the Timberwolves??? hmmmmm, Kevin McHale, a man who played his whole career for the Celtics... hmmmmmm... conspiracy to make 2 of the marquee big market teams better?!?! i dont know. you be the judge.

I kinda got bored and extremly sidetracked writing this and realized that I have been out thinking myself. hahahaha kind of funny... but i still call shenanigans on the Spurs/Lakers series. Hope you had fun wasting your time reading this. LMFAO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

David Blaine Street Magic?

I dunno if y'all have seen this already but these are the guys from www.thoselilrabbits.com and they spoofed David Blaine. I remember the first time I watched a David Blaine special I told myself that if someone came up to me with that tone of voice and that facial expression and said "You wanna see some magic?", I'd be thinking that he's gonna whip out his joint on me and try to make it disappear in my bunghole. I would seriously be freaked out. A random dude who looks all creepy comes up to you in public setting and offers you something. It's a little strange, no? Well, these guys made it funny. Give it a watch.

****DISCLAIMER*****contains some profanity so those of you at work might need to put on some headphones.

Photo link updates

Added pix from Heaven's Playground on Memorial Day weekend. The pre-party, photoshoot, and afterparty were all dope. Good times, indeed. Looking forward to more....

Pet Peeves: "It Is What It Is"

I'm sure y'all have heard this phrase before: "It is what it is." I've heard it waaaaay too much and it's starting to really piss me off. Actually, it pissed me off the first time I heard it. I already know what it is so why are you telling me again that "it is what it is." No, really? What else could it be? Dumbass. If you were within arms reach I would choke you right now. Just ask Paul. I'll really do it. He found out the hard way.

Word of the day: Alligator Fuckhouse

Alligator Fuckhouse

A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

Sally: "Last night Johnny surprised me with an Alligator Fuckhouse, and I came for an hour and a half! I think the bite might have left a scar though..."

Top Ten List: Favorite Wrestlers of All Time

TOP TEN LIST: FAVORITE WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME


I'm going to start off my Top Ten Lists with something that I loved watching as a kid. WRESTLING!!! I was a child of the 80's so most of these guys are from that era with a few others from the wrestling boom in the mid to late 90's. My list is kinda biased towards the WWF cause I didn't really watch WCW or ECW. Expect a lot more weird blogs like this from me in the future cause I'll be blogging about whatever comes to mind. Feel free to comment back with your list. Enjoy!


10. Bret "The Hitman" Hart -

Even though he wore pink and always came out BEFORE the fight soaking wet, for some odd reason, I always wished that I could be that kid in the crowd that he gave his pink plastic shades to...but it never happened.

9. "HHH" Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Yes, that's was his original name. Hunter Hearst Helmsley the Connecticut Blueblood. He was a wealthy sophisticate from Connecticut who gave proper etiquitte lessons. I'll pause for laughter.....hahahah......Ok, That was probably one of the worst wrestling personas ever created. Despite that he has one of the best entrances in the game (seen in the picture) and he's banging the bosses daughter, Stephanie McMahon. So, he can do whatever he wants. Talk about a Cerebral Assasin.

8. Randy "Macho Man" Savage

OOOOOOOOOO, YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! ..... SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!!! It was weird how he used to stand on his tippie toes and wiggle his fingers in his interviews. But he was always a good interview and his flying elbowdrop from the top turnbuckle looked like one of the most devastating moves ever. Plus, he probably made the best wrestler in a movie cameo for his part in Spiderman. "Arrrrre yooooou reeeaaaady? Bonesaw is reeeaaaaadddyyy!!!"

7. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig

Dude...when he would spit his gum out and slap it with his hand?!? I mean c'mon!!! Do you remember when Mr. Perfect first came to the WWF? They showed all thses promos of him being the greatest athlete. He was Bowling and he bowled a 300, they showed him hitting 3-point shots backwards, he was playing pool and he ran the table and the best one was...well you have to see it for yourself....

I mean c'mon!!! He caught his own Hail Mary pass....all I can say is that thats........PERFECT!
R.I.P Mr. Perfect

6. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

My single favorite wrestling move ever, is the DDT. Even though I have no idea what DDT really means?!? To this day, if I ever get into a real fight the first thing I'll try to do is a DDT. Why? Cause that fucking move is real!!! Do you remember when he put a snake in Macho Man and Miss Elizabeths wedding gifts?!? or when he tore the tights right off of Ravishing Rick Rudes legs and made him run off naked. There was just something about him and his snake Damien that was crazy. Its sad to see that hes down in the dumps right now. If you watched the movie "Beyond The Mat" it shows him deep into drugs and working small house shows around the country.

5. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase

"Everybody has a price, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." His entrance music was him laughing ominously...hahahaha. This fucking guy was the SHIT!!!! When he couldn't win a WWF belt he said fuck a WWF belt, and he had his own Million Dollar Belt made. The guy had his own fucking personal butler named Virgil and he was black?!? This fucking guy made owning a black slave acceptable on national T.V. hahaha and he was part of one of the worst/best tag teams ever.... Worst cause his partner was I.R.S. / Best cause their name was Money,INC. ....C,MON!!!

4. Hulk Hogan

You can't be a wrestling fan and not love Hulk Hogan. You just can't. It would be un-American. I remember when I was a kid and his entrance music would come on...... I would get goosebumps just knowing that he was coming to the ring. The only gripe that I have with Hogan and the reason why he's not higher on the list, is that his only notable moves are the clothesline, gorilla press slam (the one he got Andre The Giant with) and the leg drop. For one of the greatest wrestlers of all time his finishing move is a freakin LEG DROP?!?!? But overall his Hulkamania still lives on.... he's still relevant in today's wrestling and that speaks volumes for his legacy.

3. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

Does anyone remember him coming in as "The Ringmaster" and being Ted DiBiase's protege and being one of only 3 people to hold the prestigious Million Dollar Belt. The other being Ted DiBiase and Virgil. The reason I liked him so much was cause he was just a regular guy but he was doing all the things that regular guys only dreamed of. He drank beer ferociously, cussed every other word and beat the shit out of his boss. Plain and simple he was a BADASS MOTHER FUCKER!!! He was a beer drinking, middle finger pointing, boss hating, Stone Cold Stunning, redneck son of a bitch. AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE...........CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO.

2. Ric Flair

For as old and flabby and out of shape he is its always fun to watch Naitch wrestle. Cuse hes the Limousine ridin', jet flying, kiss stealin', wheelin' dealing, son of a gun WOOO!
The Nature Boy WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The Dirtiest Player in The Game! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
To be the man, WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You gotta beat the man, WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Here are some of the funny things that Ric Flair does:
1. The "Flair Flop," where after being pummeled (usually in the corner), he will confidently stride out and look to have regained his composure, only to flop flat on his face.
2. Offering to shake his opponent's hand before the match begins. Just before his opponent grabs his hand, he'll pull back, strut, & then say, "Woo!"
3.After being floored to the mat, holds his hands up whilst kneeling down submissively and begs his opponent not to strike him (often yelling "Nooo!" in the process); thus catching them off-guard, and usually then resulting in a low blow or a thumb to the eyes.
4. Being thrown towards the turnbuckle, flipping over the top rope and landing on the apron. Who does that?!?
5. Asking the referee to check the time, and low-blowing or otherwise cheating while the referee had his back turned. This back when matches had time limits, something that generally does not occur anymore.

Just classic stuff. I hear that Ric has just recently retired. Finally.


1. The Rock

What can I say about THE ROCK?!? If I could grow out my sideburns, get a Samoan tatto covering my arm, talk shit like him and wear Prada glasses like him I would. I already got the eyebrow thing down. The Rock was probably the single most charasmatic person to grace the mic. Having the charisma and the wrestling skills that he had was the total package. From his early days as Rocky Maivia to his time as the leader of the N.O.D. Nation Of Domination you knew he was going to be a star. So when he grabbed that mic and said one word, "FINALLY!" you knew you were going to be entertained.

There are so many other Videos on YouTube with The Rock.... but I cant find them all. Here's one I did find.....IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL......WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN!!!!!


Honorable Mentions: Ultimate Warrior, Roddy Piper, The Undertaker (Original), The Rockers, Shawn Michaels, The Demolition, Road Warriors AKA Legion Of Doom, Sgt. Slaughter, "The Ugandan Giant" Kamala, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Ravishing Rick Rude, .

Photo Link Updates

I made it so the photo links open up in a new window now. More photos from previous events will be posted shortly.

Nocturnal Nights May 30th

Marisol of Gemz Production first official Event @ Deco's. The whole concept of her company is "making Nocturnal....business." Its a good slogan. Were just going to do what we do best and support her any way we can.

Rick Ross

Memorial Day Weekend

27 cents

White Castle Promo
Upcoming 27-cent Slyders at White Castle
Next Tuesday, May 27, White Castle restaurants will offer its Slyder burgers for 27 cents each between 2 pm and 3:27 pm local time. (This 87-minute window is in recognition of the company's 87th anniversary.)

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WTF? How is it possible that there isn't a White Castle located anywhere west of the Mississippi? Blasphemy! I've only tried the frozen ones that you cook yourself and those are pretty damn delicious. I can only imagine what a freshly cooked slyder tastes like.

Photo link updates

Pix from Tie Night @ Sin and Sean Kingston @ Aubergines have been posted. I also added the photos from the month of April. Pix from previous events will be posted on soon.

I was informed that trying to right-click and save the images from the photo galleries does not work in Firefox but it does work when using Internet Explorer. So for now, I suggest everyone use IE to download their pix.

Carpe Diem

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=314290>1=7702


Shania Twain and her husband are calling it quits, People.com reported on Thursday.

"Shania Twain and her husband, music producer Robert 'Mutt' Lange, are separating after 14 years of marriage," spokesman Jason Owen said in a statement to the magazine. "This is a private matter and there will be no further comment at this time."

The couple was married just six months after meeting each other in 1993. They have one child together, their 6-year-old son, Eja D'Angelo.

Twain told the magazine in 2002 that "our love has always been based on friendship and compatibility," but also said, "we are very different."

In 2000, reports indicated that the couple's marriage might have been on the rocks, but they stayed together.

Willie's B-day

Sean Kingston on 05/16/08

New Design

I'm testing out this new design. I wanted something simple and easy to maintain. As you can all tell, I'm very lazy and my skills as a graphic designer are mediocre at best. There will be more modifications added periodically. I still have to upload all my photos and maybe get a portfolio up, if I'm feelin' saucy. I originally intended this site to be a showcase for an upcoming clothing line but plans kinda fell through for that. So now, this whole website is up in the air as to what I want to do with it.